RIDDLE ME THIS

If someone (a friend) volunteered to video your wedding and make a DVD out of it for you for free, then videoed your wedding and never gave you a copy of it, what would you do? That’s a riddle if I ever heard of one.

Here’s my riddle.

What has 4 arms and 4 legs, 2 heads and sucks big fat hairy donkey balls?

The couple who shall not be named, that’s who. That's right. The "Voldemorts" as we so eloquently refer to them as.

Their first wedding anniversary is coming up shortly. If they were in my predicament, would they feel the same way I’m going to feel on my first wedding anniversary? I doubt it. They have a video of their wedding to reflect upon and view for many years to come. I hope they rewind it and watch it slowly when the bride attempts to sing along to their first dance song and has no idea as to what the lyrics were.* (*note...this song is now used in a cat food commercial). Also...make sure to crank up the volume when the DJ plays “Ghostbusters”. That was awesome.

Riddle me this....who has a wedding anniversary coming up in November and has no video to show for it? That’s right. Me. Me & my lovely wife.

For you see...312 days ago the Voldemorts were insistent that they be the ones who video our special day. They wanted to give this to us for a wedding gift. Yes...you read that correctly. 312 days ago. Who still has yet to receive this “gift”? Me. Did I mention that it was 312 days ago?

And for what you may ask? What would cause such a dickly move on behalf of the Voldemorts? That’s a good question. I think it may allegedly involve a knife and someone’s back. Could it be that Ms. Voldemort was allegedly a compulsive liar? Could it be the fact that she would allegedly get drunk and allegedly hit on someone else’s husband, and then deny it ever allegedly happened? Could it be that she was never original and allegedly stole every idea that anyone else had and pretended as if it were hers? Could it be that she has lived in Arizona for all of her life and allegedly has no friends to show for it? Could it be that she allegedly had issues with her marriage no less than 2 months after it happened and allegedly complained to her “friends” about it? So much so that she allegedly lamented OUT LOUD about why she ever got married? I suppose it could be a mixture of all that. Am I upset about any of this? Allegedly...

All I know is, a promise is a promise. If you say you will do something, BE A MAN. Be HONEST. Hold up your end of the bargain. Don’t be petty and use something like a Wedding video to hang over someone’s head to make you feel better. OOH. You got us.

To be honest with you, I would rather have a happy marriage than a video.

Keep the video. You might learn something.

Toodles.